SLINGS & ARROWS Season the Third

Sound hautboys! The Canadian series SLINGS & ARROWS returns to the Sundance Channel starting Sunday, February 18, at 8pm. On the menu for our dysfunctional troupers: KING LEAR.

Exeunt, pursued by a bear, to set TiVos.

Variety Pilot Watch

What will you be watching on TV next year? Check out the current crop of pilots for a peek into the future.

"Zombie dramedy"?

I am so there.

Sam & Jim Got Staffed!

If you've been following the adventures of writers Sam and Jim as they go to Hollywood, you'll be thrilled to know that they're on staff now at THE DEAD ZONE.

Their first podcast since starting work there is up now, and provides an invaluable peek at a newbie TV writer's first experiences inside The Room.

ROME Vincit Omnes

Or vincit most, anyway.

I started watching season 1 of ROME on DVD a little while ago, planning to take in just an episode or two as tonal research for a new project I've started.

Well, an episode or two of this fantastic show wasn't enough, and I slurped down that first season in time for the season 2 opener last week.

It's amazing, Shakespearean stuff, as Alex Epstein has commented on a few times.

I particularly love how the writers imbue the characters with a principal trait that makes them who they are, and, as in Will's work, can be their downfall (some SPOILERS follow...).

For Luscious-- sorry, Lucius, it's his honor. It resides like a hard, battle-tested stone at his very center, and wins him respect and position in Rome but also costs him his wife and family. Not to mention the chance to knock sandals with Cleopatra.

For Titus, it's his easy skill with violence. It makes him a great soldier, but also keeps him, fatally, from finding his way in peacetime. It allows him to fall into seamy underworld assassinations and casual, unthinking murder.

For Caesar, of course, it's his pride. For Atia, I think it's her fear of being alone, which comes out as political and social ambition and her fierce if often twisted love for her children.

The treatment of Marc Antony's speech was brilliant, as Jane Espenson notes, and I also loved the "Et tu, Brute?" moment during the assassination. You're waiting for Caesar to say "And you, Brutus?" or something like it, and-- he doesn't. He opens his mouth, and Brutus, tormented, relates later that he thought he heard Caesar say something, but really the accusation was only in the dying man's eyes and face.

I'm very sorry that this is the last season for ROME, but apparently according to interviews that'll allow for some balls-out storycraft. Not that the show's pulled any punches (or gladii) so far.

Thirteeeeeen!

Non sequitur postscript from The Boyfriend, who's watching BLOODRAYNE on TV as I write this: "Uwe Boll must be stopped."

HEROES Picked Up

Excelsior! THE OFFICE and MY NAME IS EARL were also on NBC's shopping list.

In other news, a scuba-diving cat. Seriously.

The Name Game

You want to do everything possible to make your characters memorable and compelling to readers and audiences, so why cram your narrative worlds with Johns and Susans?

Of course, you can go too far with this. I remember seeing a Julianne Moore movie in which her name was Telly.

Telly? Isn't that a muppet?

A device I often use is to take some key aspect of the character or their place in the story and let that suggest the name. Hell, any trick that's good enough for Dickens, the Restoration dramatists, and the makers of Max Payne is good enough for me.

Some examples from my scripts:

(Caveat: No disparagement meant for people who have these names but not these characteristics!)

Val, short for Valerie. Horror heroine. Valiant, valkyrie.

Bridget. A two-fer, since this character is inflexible (rigid, stringent) and sexually cold (frigid).

Lance. Easygoing guy, loose where Bridget is not. Also a little dreamy, not very grounded in real life.

Fay. Seductive world traveler. More dangerous than she first appears, like faerie, Morgan Le Fay.

Roger. A scoundrelly, womanizing Englishman. A play on the British slang meaning of the word.

Galen. A twist on Gawain, the knight. The character is honorable, noble, and plays fantasy games.

Neva. A similar twist on Guenevere.

Abigail. Buttoned-up, prim, religious.

Reyna. Powerful CEO. Reign, and reine is French for queen.

Clayton. A man of substance, figuratively and literally, but also weak, feet of clay.

This works with surnames and full names as well: I named a character Tim Pritchard because that suggested he was a little untrustworthy and kind of a dick, which he was. And Palmer Sykes just sounds like a child molester, doesn't he?

Other techniques...

Many BATTLESTAR GALACTICA characters have a regular-sounding name spiced with something more fantastical, often pulled from ancient history or mythology. Karl Agathon, Kara Thrace, Sharon Valerii, Gaius Baltar. A neat way to suggest sci fi without all those damn apostrophes that apparently we'll all be using in the future. Qapla'!

And for horror stories or thrillers, I'm reminded of the Bill Cosby routine where you should name your kid something that yells well down the block, that is, doesn't end in a consonant. Compare the bellowing-into-the-haunted-basement possibilities of "FRANK!" and "BILLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"

What are your own methods for naming?

Appendages!

Mac-vs.-PC style "ad" for There and Second Life.



The comparison to Macs and PCs, though superficial, works fairly well. The two worlds do a lot of the same stuff -- user-generated assets and events, virtual currencies -- but There is prettier, less flexible and customizable, and has less market share. Second Life offers more customization, is more popular, and erm, is ugly. In a number of senses of the word. ;)

Holiday Hiatus

The fall finales have come and gone. The TiVo's to-do list is blissfully empty. I loves me some TV, but I'm as ready for a break as anyone, not leastly because I have a lot of writing to do.

I'm signing off here until the New Year. Enjoy some holiday flicks, why dontcha? Here's a list to get you started, reprinted from last year.

IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE - Darker and wittier than you remember.

HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS - WARNING! VERY IMPORTANT!! I mean the ANIMATED version, with charming Chuck Jones art and plummy voice work by Boris Karloff. Not the Jim Carrey redundancy, for the love of Fah who for-aze.

WHEN HARRY MET SALLY - Not strictly speaking a Christmas movie, but many of the story's key moments happen at the holidays. The season of groveling, revelatory Mallomars.

MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL - I'm serious. Michael Caine gives excellent deadpan as Scrooge in the face of adorableness (Fozziwig!) and catchy songs, but the movie gets scary and sad right when it's supposed to. All that and mini Miss Piggies. Get over yourself and rent it.

THE THIN MAN - Another not-quite-Christmas movie, but who cares when you have William Powell shooting ornaments off the tree with a BB gun while Myrna Loy watches, amused, in a new fur coat? In a movie that glimmers with champagne dialogue, this wordless moment is a standout.

THE GODFATHER - Okay, okay, I'll stop cheating, but the Godfather saga is framed around moments rich with ritual and family significance: weddings, baptisms, the holidays. I love Al Pacino's tense and terrifying vigil at the creepy, Christmas-quiet hospital.

A CHRISTMAS STORY - Some time ago I came across a rant against this movie, which I just don't get. So it's faux nostalgic. Nostalgia is false almost by definition. A CHRISTMAS STORY is funny, sweet, just arch enough, and yes, authentic, capturing the tribulations and joy of being a kid at yuletide. Plus Peter Billingsley now is poker buddies with Vince Vaughn, so there's that.

BAD SANTA - Christmastime sucks for a lot of people. BAD SANTA is bleak and funny and has heart without dipping into sentimentality. Co-stars Lauren Graham as a Santa fetishist. Oh, Lorelai!

Happy Holidays!

WGA Television Nominations

Awards season is truly in full swing. Here're more TV noms, this time from the Writers Guild of America.

DRAMATIC SERIES

24

DEADWOOD

GREY'S ANATOMY

LOST

THE SOPRANOS

Excellent list overall, but special huzzahs for hoopleheads, laudanum addicts, jaw-clenching sheriffs, and c**ksuckers!

COMEDY SERIES

30 ROCK

ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT

CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM

ENTOURAGE

THE OFFICE

I watch some of these.

NEW SERIES

30 ROCK

FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS

HEROES

STUDIO 60

UGLY BETTY

Yowza, tough call. And what's up with the dueling shows about sketch comedy shows?

EPISODIC DRAMA - single episode

"Election Day, Part II" (THE WEST WING), Written by Eli Attie & John Wells

"Occupation/Precipice" (BATTLESTAR GALACTICA), Written by Ronald D. Moore

"Two for the Road" (LOST), Written by Elizabeth Sarnoff & Christina M. Kim

"The End of the Whole Mess" (NIGHTMARES & DREAMSCAPES: FROM THE STORIES OF STEPHEN KING), Teleplay by Lawrence D. Cohen, Based on the short story by Stephen King

"Pilot" (STUDIO 60 ON THE SUNSET STRIP), Written by Aaron Sorkin

"Pilot" (BIG LOVE), Witten by Mark V. Olsen & Will Scheffer

Godsdammit, BSG is finally on one of these awards lists. About. Frakkin'. Time. The show won a Peabody Award, people!

EPISODIC COMEDY - single episode

"It Takes Two" (DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES), Written by Kevin Murphy & Jenna Bans

"Don’t Look At Me" (DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES), Written by Josh Senter

"Bomb Shelter" (MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE), Written by Rob Ulin

"Casino Night" (THE OFFICE), Written by Steve Carell

"The Coup" (THE OFFICE), Written by Paul Lieberstein

"Jump for Joy" (MY NAME IS EARL), Written by Vali Chandrasekaran

I'm not sure I watched any of these.

So there you have it. But again, no THE WIRE! Argh.

Golden Globe Nominations

The Hollywood Foreign Press Association has spoken! The key TV noms:

BEST TELEVISION SERIES DRAMA

24 (FOX) Imagine Television and 20th Century Fox Television i.a.w. Real Time Prods.

BIG LOVE (HBO)Anima Sola and Playtone Prods. i.a.w. HBO Entertainment

GREY'S ANATOMY (ABC)Touchstone Television

HEROES (NBC)NBC Universal Television Studios i.a.w. Tailwind Prods.

LOST (ABC)Touchstone Television

Nice list! Yay, freshman HEROES, for making the cut.

BEST TELEVISION SERIES - COMEDY OR MUSICAL

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES (ABC)Touchstone Television

ENTOURAGE (HBO)Leverage and Closest to the Hole Prods. i.a.w. HBO Entertainment

THE OFFICE (NBC)Deedle Dee Prods. with Reveille i.a.w. NBC Universal Television Studio

UGLY BETTY (ABC)Touchstone Television

WEEDS (SHOWTIME)Showtime i.a.w. Lionsgate Television and Tilted Prods., Inc.

No weak ones here either. Expect this category to get more competitive as more light dramas like DESEPERATE HOUSEWIVES, WEEDS, and UGLY BETTY enter the grid. Btw, just started watching WEEDS this season -- love it.

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES - DRAMA

PATRICIA ARQUETTE — MEDIUM

EDIE FALCO — THE SOPRANOS

EVANGELINE LILLY — LOST

ELLEN POMPEO — GREY'S ANATOMY

KYRA SEDGWICK — THE CLOSER

No surprises here. I'm a fan of all these shows; no idea how I'd vote if I had to.

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES - DRAMA

PATRICK DEMPSEY — GREY'S ANATOMY

MICHAEL C. HALL — DEXTER

HUGH LAURIE — HOUSE

BILL PAXTON — BIG LOVE

KIEFER SUTHERLAND — 24

Oof, did James Gandolfini lose his spot to Michael C. Hall (love his creepy-cool-adorable performance on DEXTER) or Bill Paxton? THE SOPRANOS is a masterwork, but I'm all for new blood. So to speak, in DEXTER's case.

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A TELEVISION SERIES -COMEDY OR MUSICAL

MARCIA CROSS — DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES

AMERICA FERRERA — UGLY BETTY

FELICITY HUFFMAN — DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES

JULIA LOUIS-DREYFUS — THE NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE

MARY-LOUISE PARKER — WEEDS

Go, America, playing in the big leagues! Julia Louis-Dreyfus deserves much credit for showing that conventional 3-camera sitcoms can still be funny, but I like Mary-Louise Parker's hilarious, spirited, and tender "Lacey LaPlante" FTW.

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A TELEVISION SERIES - COMEDY OR MUSICAL

ALEC BALDWIN — 30 ROCK

ZACH BRAFF — SCRUBS

STEVE CARRELL — THE OFFICE

JASON LEE — MY NAME IS EARL

TONY SHALHOUB — MONK

Alec steals every scene of 30 ROCK that he's in, and no jury in the world would convinct him.

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION

EMILY BLUNT — GIDEON'S DAUGHTER

TONI COLLETTE — TSUNAMI, THE AFTERMATH

KATHERINE HEIGL — GREY'S ANATOMY

SARAH PAULSON — STUDIO 60 ON THE SUNSET STRIP

ELIZABETH PERKINS — WEEDS

The supporting actor categories are an utter comparing-apples-to-bicycles situation, no?

BEST PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE IN A SERIES, MINI-SERIES OR MOTION PICTURE MADE FOR TELEVISION

THOMAS HADEN CHURCH — BROKEN TRAIL

JEREMY IRONS — ELIZABETH I

JUSTIN KIRK — WEEDS

MASI OKA — HEROES

JEREMY PIVEN — ENTOURAGE

More apples and bicycles. How do you choose between obnoxious superagent Ari Gold and the Earl of frakkin' Leicester? Still, loving that Masi Oka is in there.

Any misfires, according to you? Who's missing that should be on here? THE WIRE and BATTLESTAR GALACTICA are two, for me. Anyone on who shouldn't be?

(Almost) A Massive Waste of Time

On a recent flight I read the first issue of Massive, the new magazine about MMOGs. The poor thing is hovering perilously close to fishwrap quality.

Massive needs help. Chiefly, Massive needs a firm editorial hand:

Sure, it's interesting to read a blurb about the gender split of MMOG players-- but the pie chart accompanying the text actually shows the player base's age breakdown by gender.

A description of ArenaNet's new Nightfall expansion for Guild Wars both spells the company's name wrong and misidentifies the two new character classes as "factions."

The colorful (and memorable) phrase "800 lb. gorilla" is used twice in the magazine. Guess I should be happy it wasn't used twice in the same article.

Nitpicky? Maybe, but it's too bad that Massive shows so little of the editorial zing and professional polish of its parent mag Computer Games.

Other problems are more glaring. One huge section lists mini-descriptions of pretty much every MMOG out there, including some nifty-sounding ones I hadn't heard of before (Ooh!) but fails to provide URLs where you could, y'know, go learn about them or play them (D'oh!).

The layout and graphics are solid, but one funny article about chatspeak suffers from a printing error, with half the untranslated lines of text missing.

The best content of the magazine apart from the teasing URL-free catalog of current games is the selection of editorials from many of the MMOGinati, including Raph Koster, Nick Yee, Richard Garriott, and Richard Bartle (recapping his keynote from the 2005 Austin Game Conference).

But even Raph notes that most of what can be written about MMOGs has been (albeit not necessarily in a dead-tree periodical), and the most interesting topics aren't quite ready to be talked about yet. Also, Massive may've shot their wad too soon given the sheer number of editorials. At this rate they'll burn through all the top tier developers and researchers in, oh, three issues.

And I'm not sure what's served by peppering the magazine with irrelevant newsbits about knitting guilds and contested gold in the mountains of Chile.

I may pick up the second issue, if there is one -- MMOG magazines have launched and failed before -- but here's hoping the folks behind Massive can regroup, with a l33t editor at the helm FTW.

Robert Altman

One of America's great directors has passed away. Just a few films from his remarkable career:

MASH

GOSFORD PARK

SHORT CUTS

THE PLAYER

NASHVILLE

MCCABE & MRS. MILLER

I also really enjoyed his last film, the gently elegaic A PRAIRIE HOME COMPANION.

They can't all be gems -- the same man brought us POPEYE and PRET-A-PORTER, after all -- but Altman, presented with an Honorary Academy Award just this past year, long deserved a real Oscar. Maybe even more than one.

At least we have his body of work and legacy. THE PLAYER is pretty much the definitive cinematic depiction of modern Hollywood. Without it, would there be an ENTOURAGE? Without MCCABE & MRS. MILLER, we wouldn't have DEADWOOD; without MASH, we wouldn't have... well, MASH.

And every ensemble, multi-threaded narrative -- especially with characters talking over each other as real people do -- tends to be labeled "Altmanesque." You gotta be pretty special to get turned into an adjective.

Keeping the LIGHTS On

More welcome pickup news: FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS got their full-season order.

If you're not watching this show, please start. Doesn't matter if you're not into football. This show is about football in the way that ROCKY is about boxing, or BULL DURHAM is about baseball: as catalyst and metaphor as much as the actual sport.

The storytelling is so deft that something as theoretically low-key as a high school football game -- hell, a single play in a high school football game -- carries emotional stakes as big as saving the world.

Filmed almost documentary-style, LIGHTS foregrounds details that give depth and authenticity to the stories it tells. Characters talk over each other. Fancy meals are eaten at Applebee's. The camera rests briefly on a Bible then moves to its owner, a player studying his playbook-- his second Bible. The coach goes to visit his quarterback, and over their conversation we see the boy's grandmother hurrying to put some cake on a plate for their guest. That is 100% South, folks.

All that and murderball, with real quad rugby players.

FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS is something special. Watch it and let NBC know they made a good call, y'hear?

It's Raining MEN

DEXTER is one of my favorite shows right now. HEROES, another fave, features humor and heroics but also had a teenager waking up to her flayed-open, autopsied chest. I've seen every episode of both CSI (Classic) and COLD CASE, with its period soundtracks to all manner of grisly deaths.

I like dark.

Nonetheless, my soft nougaty center is charmed by MEN IN TREES, so I was glad to hear that the show just got its back 9 order and a shift to the golden 10pm Thursday spot behind GREY'S ANATOMY.

MEN IN TREES is like a chick lit version of NORTHERN EXPOSURE. The writing is clever (the creator is a SEX AND THE CITY alum), the characters fun, the stories sweet and relatable.

Here's hoping it does well behind the GREY'S powerhouse, because although I loves me some shadowy stuff, we need more hourlong dramas in which no one dies.

Boo!

Growing up, September 30 was an incredibly exciting day, because that was the deadline my mother set for my sister and I to decide what we wanted to be for Halloween.

Ohboyohboyohboy! We could change our minds all through September as much as we wanted, but by that final day, decisions had to be made.

Because then the costumes had to be made. Mom was and is an amazing seamstress, and we abused this unmercifully without meaning to.

Sure, we hit the staples like fairies, princesses, and fairy princesses. Those were easy. But we also wanted to be Greek goddesses, cardboard lyre courtesy of Dad. Pre-Disney mermaids. And what nutcase little girl of eight wants to be a can-can dancer for Halloween? Erm.

One standout year I was a tiny Wonder Woman, my outfit a rockin' bathing suit that got used the following summer. Holy cats. That is a lotta love, Mom.

I still enjoy dressing up for Halloween, but haven't had a whole lot of opportunity recently.

Well, not in person, anyway. Tonight, I was dressed as a Paragon in the land of Elona. Translated from the geek, The Boyfriend and I celebrated Halloween virtually. Guild Wars, like most MMOs, had a Halloween event complete with sound effects and decorations both scary, such as images of skulls and apocalyptic steeds in a fevered sky, and silly, like a big ol' TP'd tree.

The highlight was a visit from the pumpkin-headed Mad King, who had the crowd doing tricks -- playing rock-paper-scissors, laughing at bad jokes -- in exchange for goofy spells and effects. If you didn't comply, you were slain (to rez a moment later). Trick or treat!

Last weekend we checked out City of Heroes/Villains' Halloween event. Like last year, players could "knock" on doors all around town and you'd either get a powerup treat of some kind, or a trick. Meaning, various undead beasties like vampires and zombies would spill out and try to kill you. The devs also handed out free costume tokens, so you could take your hero to the tailor for a new festive look. I tried out a pirate (of course) and a slutty devil girl, and The Boyfriend made a very respectable Star Trek Vulcan before settling on firebolt-wielding Amish Guy.

In other words, my only partying this All Hallow's Eve was in a computer game.

Oh yeah.

Because that's how I roll.

Happy Halloween, everybody!

THE DEPARTED

Saw it this weekend. Good movie. Not perfect, but really good. I can tell I liked it because I find myself still thinking about it, hearing in my head the searing Irish-punk song that plays throughout. I'm toying with going to see the movie again, which is unheard of for me these days.

Sure, it's got the head-splorching gunfight action you'd expect to see from a Scorsese movie (his best since GOODFELLAS, hands down), but it's also funny, moving, and yes, deep. It's about fathers, sons, brothers, where we find family, how family shapes us.

Like MYSTIC RIVER, THE DEPARTED evokes Shakespeare, and the bloodier Jacobean playwrights. Unlike MYSTIC RIVER, the references play. MYSTIC RIVER wishes it was this movie.

I saw it with a pretty full house, and there was one moment that elicited an audible gasp from the crowd. Don't remember the last time I experienced that.

Other moments caused laughter, not because they were funny -- desperately not, in most cases -- but because there was so much tension that when it was dispelled, we made that little involuntary laugh of relief or shock.

The cast is fantastic. Smooth deceiver Matt Damon, noble Martin Sheen, fury-powered Mark Wahlberg, hilarious Alec Baldwin, Jack being Jack, whip-smart but vulnerable Vera Farmiga holding her own.

And while I've never drunk the kool-aid about Leonardo diCaprio before, he is outstanding in this. Performance of his life, to date.

Plus, he spends most of the movie looking like Eric Dane, McSteamy from GREY'S ANATOMY.

This is not a bad thing.

Warner Brothers? I Don't Even Know Her Brothers

Just found out today that I've been accepted into the Warner Bros. Television Writing Workshop.

Color me excited with a big ol' excited-colored crayon!

The First Taste is Free

Casual game devs and distributors are learning (happily) that their market will in fact buy richer games than the typical match 3 and I Spy clones if given the opportunity. Aveyond and Fate, well-crafted and deep "lite" RPGs, are selling well for the big casual game portals.

Positioned correctly, could games like these -- and simpler ones yet -- be the gateway drug to draw players into World of Warcraft or other non-casual games? Runescape is a massive hit on Miniclip, after all. NCSoft packaged the character creator tool for City of Heroes as a separate app for the game's Korean release, before legal issues led to their pulling it down.

Here are a few "gateway games":

Warthog Launch - Okay, so Halo isn't really about launching warthogs inyo the air with well-placed explosives. But this casual minigame is good practice.

DevastationZone Troopers - Doesn't require a video card for pretty solid 3D graphics and shoot 'em up sci fi gameplay. Destructible earthworks, weapon upgrades, spinning alien robot saws. Whee!

WoW Connect - Matching game using the skill icon graphics for World of Warcraft. Doesn't do much to introduce players to WoW proper, but it is enticing to see all the nifty button art for the various classes.

Murloc RPG - This, I love. The gamemaker cleverly (and, erm, illegally?) took assets from World of Warcraft to make a super-lightweight RPG. You go on quests, slay beasts, level up, shop for equipment, and specialize in skills. Looks and sounds great (of course). And best of all, you play as a murloc! Raaagggfflpfhh!

Any other such games you particularly like? Casual games that could be considered feeders into deeper game experiences?

World of Parkcraft

Okay, so that doesn't work.

Still... TiVo alert!

SOUTH PARK's 10th season debuts tonight, and 'tis all about World of Warcraft.

Oh my god, they ganked Kenny!

UPDATE: So, that was weird. Fun for me, but I speak gamer, MMOG dialect in particular.

Waaaaayyyy more insidery than I was expecting, not to mention pretty much a big ol' ad for the game, the jellied and pimpled physiques of the boys not withstanding.

For people who don't play WoW, was the episode at all entertaining, I wonder, never mind comprehensible?

What, No Arlecchino?

Last night's ep of STUDIO 60 reminded me of this oldie-but-goodie statshot from The Onion.