Saturday, August 20, 2005

B My Valentine

I so totally heart the Sci Fi Channel. Not only is that where bad sci-fi goes to die (and, in the case of Farscape and Firefly, where good but dead sci-fi lives on), they bring us movies called MANSQUITO.

MANSQUITO!

How can you not watch a movie called that? Me, I'm not that strong. Actual line of dialogue from the movie:

SCIENTIST HOTTIE
He's... more mosquito than man by now...

With this, FRANKENFISH, and HAMMERHEAD: SHARK FRENZY, you'd think that DNA fun and games gone awry would be the sole bread and butter for these cinematic jewels, but if so, you'd be forgetting the shaking camera and falling drywall standby, the natural disaster.

TORNADO! -- exclamation point theirs -- with Bruce Campbell (EVIL DEAD). TIDAL WAVE: NO ESCAPE -- dire subtitle theirs -- with Corbin Bernsen (LA LAW). EPICENTER, with Jeff Fahey (LAWNMOWER MAN) and Traci Lords (uh, lots of porn. And CRY BABY). Wherever there's a plummeting styrofoam rock and the same three stuntmen getting tossed like quoits scene after scene, my channel is there. I watch, and swoon guiltily.

According to the IMDb, Corbin's also in something called RAGING SHARKS, which if it hasn't aired on Sci Fi, damn well better. Can. Not. Wait. It's got sharks! That rage!

2 comments:

Warren said...

Oh my God! Mansquito makes me want to get cable again.

Scott the Reader said...

The amazing this is, though I'm still on the learning curve to being a good screenwriter, I feel well past the point where I could actually write a movie like Mansquito and have it be enjoyably dumb and not self-consciously so.

So where do they find these writers?