Thursday, August 25, 2005

Sometimes You're the Snakes, Man, and Sometimes You're the Plane

I don't know if this is the The Triumph of Met Expectations Part II, or B My Valentine Part II, or both, but apparently there's a Samuel L. Jackson movie coming out next year entitled SNAKES ON A PLANE. Maybe. At least Sam thinks it is. And Sam strikes me as a cat who knows the titles of the goddamn movies he's in.

Snakes on a plane. Fantastic. What more do you need to say?

The more I learn about this movie, the more AWESOME!!! OMG!! it becomes. Here's the IMDb synopsis:
On board a flight over the Pacific Ocean, an assassin, bent on killing a passenger who's a witness in protective custody, lets loose a crate full of deadly snakes.

Suh-weet! One of those inefficient assassins who think a hermetically sealed tube, 35,000 feet up, that arrives and leaves from buildings with metal detectors and armed guards is a really swell place to off a target. Do we know why he or she decides a box o' snakes is the best way to fulfill a hit contract? Do we care? Did I mention that this movie has four credited writers?

Another fun fact: Sam is joined on his reptilian travels by Julianna Margulies, no stranger to at-least-you-know-what-you're-getting movies. GHOST SHIP was, as promised, a ship. Full of ghosts. And Gabriel Byrne.

Screenwriter Josh Friedman describes his personal run-in with the aforementioned airborne serpents on his new RSS-worthy blog, as well as the koan possibilities: "Snakes on a plane" as a 21st century "Shit happens" or "Whatcha gonna do?"

SNAKES ON A PLANE. 2006. I am so melonfarming* there.

* Best TV profanity overdub ever, bar none. Actually witnessed in its original form ("melonfarmer") by The Boyfriend, spoken by none other than Samuel L. Jackson, repeatedly, in a bowdlerized rendition of DIE HARD 3.

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